Jul 1 2008
Let me begin by acknowledging that this email will not be addressed to one specific person, because the problem at hand is not a problem with a person but rather the problem is with the system. I have already spoken personally to —– and voiced my disapproval over a recent occurrence involving 2 girls in our care at —-.
Several weeks ago we were informed that our two girls, 15 years old and the other 12 years old, would be attending an independent living conference in Columbia with their caseworker, which they did. Upon returning from the conference, our 12 year old brought to our attention a book that she had been given at the conference entitled, 100 Questions You’d Never Ask Your Parents, written by Elisabeth Henderson and Dr. Nancy Armstrong.
Let me give you a sampling of some of the chapters in “this generation’s must read book about teen issues.” 1. What Does an Orgasm Feel Like? 2. What’s the Difference Between Orgasm and Ejaculation? 3. How Much Semen is there When a Guy Cums. 4. How Will I Know When I am Ready to Have Sex? To which this writer instructs, “Everybody is different and knowing when is right for you is an individual decision. There is no set age or time that defines it.” 5.How Do I Put a Condom On? 6. What Is the G-Spot? 7. Do I Have to Swallow? (Use your imagination) 8. What Is Anal Sex? 9. What Does Popping The Cherry Mean? 10. Where Can I Get Free Birth Control? 11. How Can I Prevent Pre-mature Ejaculation? 12. How Do I Tell My Mom That I’m Ready To Have Sex? – “Be straightforward about your thoughts, feelings and actions…Hit on the big points…that you are smart enough to use protection every time you have sex and that you have thought through the consequences.” These are merely a few of the 100 questions addressed and discussed in this most informative little book! And one more ironic question which is presented, “What Do I Do Now – I’m Pregnant!” That’s the best one of all and the answer will be, “Call DSS. They’ll take your baby!!!!”
Foster Care Review Board Members sit month after month and we wonder what in the world is going on that we should see such an abandonment of what is right and rational? Those who would instruct and inform our 12 year olds on the content above are doing nothing but perpetuating the insanity!! They are insuring that DSS will NEVER go out of business. We are fooling ourselves if we think that we are helping these children or our society by condoning such a blatant disregard of self-control and respect. We are, however, creating a generation of animals who operate off of instinct much like dogs in heat. Most of you reading this would bust a vein if your child’s school gave out this book to your child. Why then would we place it in the hands of our foster children and then punish them when they get caught having sex in the bathroom stalls at school? Is it because they are wards of the state and we are so concerned about political correctness?
The two girls who attended this conference from — who have been in our care for over 3 years. In that time we have poured our lives into theirs and sought to break the destructive cycles that so many are the products of, while teaching them what it really means to be self-controlled, honorable, respectable ladies who will give back to the world they live in rather than milking it like leaches. This resource flies in the face of everything — believes and seeks to instill into our children.
Without question, these kids need the right information about the facts of life, which I realize not all of our foster parents are equipped to handle. But a conference and a book is also not the way to educate our children about such sensitive content. If this is how the great state of South Carolina chooses to inform our foster children, we have no room to complain when we get stuck with the consequences. Teaching and granting license are two different things entirely and it appears we don’t know the difference.